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Was there ever an actual cartoon style school bully somewhere like was there really a burly curmudgeony child with a tattered shirt who was like “gimme youse lunch money, dweebasaurus, and maybe I won’t WAIL on ya!”

Like surely there’s been one, why would they lie

The thing that always seemed weird to me was lunch money.  We never had lunch money as kids.  We had prepaid punch cards.  Nobody trusts kids with money.

To me, lunch money was one of those things that only existed in cartoon-land, like anvils and elevator music.

Filed under cartoon bully

129 notes

Anyway this crazy thing has been happening in my inbox




He also has a freaky tubular vacuum tongue AND IT’S SUPER GROSS.






I’m in love with how amazingly creatively fucked up this show. I gotta make one tiny correction though:

"And apparently…

The disappearing food mass in Pac-Man bugged me as a kid.  I decided he must end up with a huge amount of compressed waste that he voided between levels to make room for more.  I thought there should be mini-games where you navigate him around obstacles to get him to a toilet in time.

(Source: delcat)

Filed under pac-man video game gaming cartoon animation

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Axed in ‘91

It occurred to me last night that quite a few of my favorite childhood shows were cancelled in 1991.  I just did a little research, and lots of shows I remember watching ended in 1991 or the last two months of 1990.

  • The Raccoons (1980-91)
  • G.I. Joe (1983-91)
  • Alvin & the Chipmunks (1983-90)
  • Muppet Babies (1984-91)
  • Pee-wee’s Playhouse (1986-90)
  • The Real Ghostbusters (1986-91)
  • The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1988-91)
  • Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers (1989-90)
  • Beetlejuice (1989-91)
  • Captain N: The Game Master (1989-91)
  • Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1990-91)

This list only includes shows that lasted two or more seasons.  Incidentally, Pee-wee’s Playhouse and Ghostbusters premiered on the very same day, as did Beetlejuice and Captain N.

I wonder if there’s some reason so many shows went on the chopping block at the same time.

Filed under cartoon 80s eighties 90s nineties

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I wanted to scan my Golobulus trading card after reading Jonathan Wojcik’s write-up of G.I. Joe: The Movie.  Not Retaliation or The Rise of Cobra but The Movie which is a movie and it’s name is The Movie because it’s more of a movie than the movies that are not The Movie.  I can’t find that card (I think it’s at another house in a tin where I keep Valentines from college girls and business cards of potential employers), so here’s the next best thing: Croc Master.

This is the only Cobra Honor Roll trading card I had besides Golobulus.  I don’t know what ruthless terrorists have to do to get on the Honor Roll, but Major Bludd didn’t have what it takes, and that’s why the border on his card isn’t a two-bodied snake.  I have no memory of Croc Master from the cartoon or the toyline.  I know absolutely nothing about him besides what you’re seeing right now.  The text certainly paints a colorful picture of the character, even though it never explains his blue face, and raises at least six additional questions.

I remember reading an interview with Larry Hama (the original head writer of Marvel’s G.I. Joe comics, now famous for his contributions to the Wolverine mythos) where he said he wrote a ton of material for action figure packages and other G.I. Joe merchandise, so it’s possible he wrote this card.  I still have no idea who created this artwork.  The profile picture was clearly cropped from a larger picture, probably a comic page. I would normally do some research in a case like this, but I’m actually afraid of shattering the mystique of Croc Master by learning things about him.  I have an irrational hope that nothing of Croc Master was ever released besides this trading card, and his story exists only in the imaginations of children of all ages.

Filed under croc master crocodile alligator author needed writer needed artist needed anonymous cartoon animation trading card gi joe cobra terrorist terrorism impel impel marketing nostalgia comic art comic comic book marvel marvel comics larry hama honor roll gi joe honor roll

49 notes

Bogleech Reviews Cobra-La stuff!


Before we get into several solid months of Halloween-centric content, here’s an article I’d been meaning to do almost all year long! It’s every last ridiculous living weapon and whatsit from G.I. JOE: THE MOVIE!




If this animated tour de force was not part of your childhood, I feel sorry for you.

Filed under bogleech cobra cobra-la organic technology terrorist sci-fi science fiction animaton cartoon 80s eighties nostalgia gi joe